Sprinklefiction ...

... Ta-Da!

The war you say? Alright, I'll tell you about my war, all one day of it" The old man shuffled around in his seat, decided he was comfortable, then deflated into it.

“There we were, the bright young stars of our nation’s military elite; the few, the proud, the badass. Armed to the teeth, stoked on fire and rhetoric, we were out to kill some transcie scum. We gravchuted down three miles past the Utopolis coastline, stealthed to the nines. The kimpeeks and infoboys had the area pegged as one of their monopole factories.”

I couldn’t help laughing: And you all just thought you’d loot the place, ey? Just like that?

“Hey, nobody said propaganda had to be true. And nobody said I have to stay awake past ten.”

Deepest apologies, said I.

He eyed me balefully for a moment, then reclined into his seat once more. “The Generals figured it’d be easy pickings, them being pacifists and all. Idiots.”

I take it …

“That things didn’t go well? Ha!” He barked hateful old-man laughter “We had the place surrounded by 0300 hours. Sent in EMPwalkers, whisperbombs, everything. Went in 0312” He paused. It took a moment to realize he was asleep.

“No, I ain’t, dumbass. Now ask me a question.” Or pretending to be.

Then what happened?

“We woke up at 0900. The factory was gone and so were our clothes. We all smelled like flowers.”